Well, just as I knew it would, the time has come to start saying goodbye to our family and close friends. It is extremely difficult to do this. Since we only have two days left, our days are full of sad encounters with our friends and family. I have gotten to say goodbye to some people here and there, but today I had to say goodbye to my father-in-law, brother-in-law and my sister. Why does it hurt so bad? Lord willing, it isn't the last time I will ever see them. I will be back in a few months to visit... I am praying for the Lord's comfort and thankfully I have an amazingly supportive husband with an amazing shoulder I am sure I will be using a lot in the next few weeks. Tomorrow I have to say goodbye to my grandma and opa and all of our dear friends from our bible study. I will need so much strength to get through that... and then I have to turn around and say goodbye to my mom and dad. This is I hope the hardest part of our move! Until next time...
"What's going on? What's new?" We've all been asked these questions or some variation of them, and our response is often "Nothing" or "Not much". I understand that a lot of times we're just responding out of habit and aren't really spending much time really thinking through our answer. But if you stop and ask yourself that question and really put some thought into it, does the answer change, or is there really nothing new going on in your life?
I often use a kite as an analogy for life. For a kite to fly it needs two things, wind pushing against it and an anchor. Without the wind constantly pushing against it, the kite won't fly. It's only through being under consistent stress from the wind that it's able to soar, and the harder the wind blows the higher it soars. The other side of that is the anchor; if it's not tied to anything it will float around aimlessly. If a kite is properly anchored and the wind is strong the kite will soar as high as the line will allow.
I think this is true for our lives. As I've spent time thinking about how God has called us as believers to live I don't see living a comfortable life as necessarily part of that plan. I believe a good indication of a problem is that we don't have anything pushing us, nothing new in our lives. I'm not saying that we should always be stressed out and in constant flux. There are certainly times in our lives where we need to recover and take some time to rest, but that should be the exception not the rule. In our lives we should constantly be looking for a challenge, looking for ways to grow, getting out of our confort zones and really pushing ourselves. When we don't have anything in the physical that we can depend on, all we have left is God. Our security, comfort and happiness should all emanate from God while we continue through the struggles in our lives. With God as our anchor and trusting that He won't allow the wind to blow beyond the abilities that He's given us to handle it, we can be excited that through that stress we are soaring higher and higher.
We've got something new coming up in our lives, and as with all change there are things that make us both excited and nervous. I don't expect our move to Hawaii to be easy (though it's certainly not the worst place to move to :)) especially not emotionally, but I'm excited to see how stepping out of our comfort zone is going to bring us closer as a family as well as closer to God. Moving away from the carefully crafted support system leaves us no choice but to rely on God and each other. I believe that Amber and I won't fully understand the impact of what we're doing until much later. I'm excited to look back in 3-5 years and see how this act of stepping out in faith has changed the landscape of our lives.
So ask yourself "What's new"? If the answer truly is nothing, then re-examine your life and see where God may be asking you to step out of your comfort zone and challenge yourself.
Image by Logan Williams
Words can't express the emotions that I am experiencing as the time comes closer for us to move. It has been one of the hardest journey's of my life. As most of you may already know, I was born and raised in Colorado, leaving only for vacations 1-2 times a year. I grew up in the same house and always watched different friends move away. I honestly never imagined it would be me leaving because the 'normal' for me was to be here. Ben on the other hand grew up moving around all the time. He traveled every six months for long periods at a time. So naturally he loves to move and travel. This has been a challenging area in our marriage because when he would say "let's go", I would say "let's settle down". Well, now that we have been here 4 years, I figure it is time for me to sacrifice my comfort zone and embark on a new journey with my husband who is so eager to try something new.
So Hawaii, here we come! Don't get me wrong... I am thrilled that the Lord has given us the opportunity to move to such an amazing place. But... it is also very far away from the people I love so much. I grew up near my extended family and I loved that so much. I really enjoyed being able to spend weekends with my grandparents and have sleepovers with cousins. Now that I have Noah, I really want him to be able to spend lots of time with his grandparents. I feel like this move is going to keep him from that, even though I know many people who still have great relationships with their grandparents and didn't live near them.
Right now I am crying a lot and praying that the Lord will help me battle this emotional roller coaster that I know I must face. I am looking forward to having just Ben and Noah around to grow closer as a family together. I don't think I am going to be able to say "I am glad I did this" for a while though, not until I am healed from the emotions of leaving my parents, my siblings and my very special friends. God is good and I will do my best to lean on Him when I am sad.
Please for those of you who read our blog, pray for me and Ben and little Noah. We truly cherish you and will miss you so dearly.
